Why me?
by empire14
Summary: Divorced parents is never fun. Throw in a really weird disease a 'new dad' with strange needs and friends who think nothings wrong and you have Kai's life. An empty life. A lonely life. Yaoi abuse in later chapters! don't like don't read, you're warned!
1. Changes

Empire14:Yes I know, I should be working on my other fic. But this idea has been lingering in my head for so long it was taking away my inspiration and was about to take away my sanity so I decided to turn the idea into a story.

There is going to be violence, swearing and OCCness (especially with Kai) in this story, I haven't made a decision about if I should or shouldn't put pairings in this fic. (If I will, it might become a yaoi). If any of the above don't suite you turn back now for I will not be responsible for any consequences if you do continue.

Ooh, and..

Kai: Yes, I do think they get it now. *rolls eyes and than glares at empie* Empie: Hey! I was trying to…… Kai: *shoots famous death glare at empie* Empie: *hides behind her computer screen and starts praying* Kai: *rolls eyes again upon seeing this* Empie: *doesn't notice because she is still praying for her life*

Kai: Can it already! They get it, I wanna kill you and you don't what to die. Just write the damn fic already.

Empie: *looks up with big brown puppy eyes*(yes my eyes are really brown)You're not gonna kill me than?*blinks really cute*

Kai:*sighs* No I won't kill you……not yet.

Empie: Yeeeeey………what do you mean 'not yet'???

Kai: Just start writing the damn fic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Empie: *hides behind her computer again*b-b-but the d-d-disclaimer………*trails off after seeing Kai's death glare*

Kai: I'll do it, just start writing. She doesn't own Beyblade, obviously, or else she wouldn't let me walk over her so easily.

Empie: *eyes suddenly glow red as she looks up at Kai* I'm sooo going to get back at you for saying that, I don't own Beyblade but you don't have to be so mean.

Kai: It wasn't mean it was the truth, and how could you ever get back at me hmm??

Empie: You forgot, **I** am in charge of this fic, sooo…*grins evilly while starting to type frantically*

Kai: Oh crap *suddenly looks very distressed*…why did I have to say that?!

Empie: enjoy the fic Kai…MUAWHAAWHAAHHAHAH *laughs evilly while looking totally nuts*

* * *

**Kai's POV**

This wasn't real, this wasn't happening, it couldn't be.

My breaths became sharper with every single one I took. I stared at my mum, than my dad and than back at my mum. My brain wasn't really processing what they were trying to tell me. This had to be a dream, scrap that, a nightmare. But yet here they stood, telling me something which was to absurd to even think about and on the other hand something which had to be true. My parents didn't have such a sick sense of humour.

"You're………getting………_divorced_??!!!" I choked out the last word, not sure if I wanted to understand it's meaning, unfortunately I already did.

"Honey, I know this must come as a shock. But it's for the best, we both think so." My mum looked at me with concern and understanding shimmering in her eyes.

"And in case your endless imagination thought of the absurd idea that this has anything to do, let me tell you that it doesn't. And you'll still be seeing both of us, you'll just have two houses.". My dad's attempt to lighting the news with a joke was a complete waste of time. The blow was just as hard and I just stared at my parents not knowing what to say, or what to think which I might add is saying something. I always knew what to think, didn't matter if we were talking about a subject, a person or a situation.

But this time…nothing.

Suddenly my mum wrapped her arms around me and held me close. "It'll be okay honey. You won't loose one of us, and never forget that we love you very much." She had pulled away from me and now held me at arms length. My dad put his hand on my arm and smiled at me reassuringly. "You better not forget that kiddo" he smiled his famous grin and squeezed my arm slightly.

Suddenly out of all the confusion a thought bubbled up in my head and made it's way to my mouth.

"Have you told Kala yet?". I noticed my voice was very shaky and unsteady and swallowed to compose it a little.

"Yes we have, this morning. That's why he's still home, you can stay home too. If you want to." My mum was looking at me like I was some sort of lost kitten. I nodded and looked down again.

I suddenly felt a little light-headed and found myself having trouble breathing. I didn't know what was going on and looked up to meet my mum's gaze. She stared at me worriedly and questioningly. Not wanting them to worry about me, since it looked that was all they could considering the fact I was always in and out of hospitals, I did the first thing my shocked mind could think of. I ran.

"I'm sorry, I just want to be alone." I shook off their hands and ran up stairs. This was pretty hard considering I was shaking uncontrollably and was having trouble manoeuvring my legs up the stairs.

Once I reached the top, I felt my eyes stinging and the tightness around my chest increasing. I was panicking, again. I never liked this and never wanted to show it but knew better than to try and hide it. I stumbled over to my brothers door and noticed my chest had started to try and shake of the tight feeling. I knocked and waited, no response.

I heard my mum and dad coming up the stairs and really didn't wanted them to see me like this. I opened the door to my own room and nearly fell inside while pulling the door shut.

I slid down with my back against the door and broke down…sorta. The tears were now streaming freely and I was still shaking. I pulled my knees up and put my arms around them and rocked back and forth, trying to calm myself and failing miserably.

Two arms came out of nowhere and held me in a gentle yet firm hold.

"Ssshh, it's okay Kai, just let it all out. I'm right here.". I grabbed onto the person holding me immediately recognising the voice. "K-Kala……why?" I was still crying but had luckily stopped shaking.

"I don't know little bro, I honestly don't know."

One and a half year later

Kai's dad now lives a half an hour drive away from them and Kai and his brother see him nearly every weekend. Their mum has been _seeing_ someone for the last month while Kai has started his third year in high school and Kala his fifth.

"Kai!! Hurry up or you'll be late!"

I grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs. "There's no need to yell mum, I'm already here." I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the sandwich standing on the table. "Bye mum." I ran out the door while hearing her yell something like 'have fun and be care full'. Typically mum, always worried.

I soon saw a very familiar necko-jinn, joined by an extremely hyper blonde and a navy-blue haired boy with a baseball cap. A thought crossed my mind and I slowed down while not making a sound. I slowly caught up with the three and snuck up on the blue-navy haired boy making him jump and whirl around to see who was behind him.

"Kai! Man you nearly gave me a heart attack!!" Tyson was trying to look mad but I could clearly see the smile he was trying to hide. "Oh really, and we wouldn't want that to happen, or would we?". Tyson couldn't help himself anymore and burst out laughing, soon Max, Ray and I followed.

We had cooled down some when we arrived at school and split up each going to our own classes. The day went by very slowly and when finally the last bell rang I quickly made my way outside and waited together with Max and Tyson for Ray. We than headed for the park and just laid down somewhere. Or actually, they fell onto the grass while I tried to do things with a little piece of dignity. I don't know how long we laid there talking about what everyone was going to do in the summer holidays and playing bey-battles, but when we decided to go back home the sun had already dropped as far as the tree tops.

When we got to a crossroad Max and Tyson went left and Ray and I went straight ahead. Although the sun was disappearing it wasn't cold outside, it was quite warm. And Ray and I were still laughing when we saw my house. Seeing my house always made me feel happy, but when I took a good look I sighed 'crap, I forgot'.

"He Kai, what is it?" Ray stopped and looked at me curious. I looked up at him and just shook my head.

"It's nothing Ray. I just forgot my mum's _boyfriend_ was going to eat dinner with us tonight." Ray looked at me with genuine surprise on his face. "Boyfriend?" Oh right, I never told them. Could this moment get any better. Ray was still looking at me and opened his mouth to ask something. Not wanting to explain I interrupted him.

"Yes boyfriend, don't tell the others. I'll explain later but I have to go sooo, I'll see you tomorrow. 12 O'clock at the park?" I could see Ray was a little confused while he just nodded. "Okay, see yah!" I shouted while running over to my house.

"See you tomorrow, and have fun!" I growled a little, the sarcasm was just dripping off of his voice while he said that last part. 'Don't judge, don't judge, don't judge' I kept on repeating this in my head knowing that seeing another guy with my mum was going to be hard, and a little strange.

I opened the door and closed it again, ran up stairs and retreated into my room while putting my, now empty, bag in my closet. Summer holiday, finally. I wasn't going on a holiday and neither were Tyson, Max or Ray. So we were going to hang out all summer doing what we all loved; Beyblading. I was apparently considered 'team captain' or something, which is why I helped them out with their technique. I was really glad Beyblading existed, it made my life bearable. I had never been really good at anything before and because I had been sick a lot when I had been younger my mum never let me do..well..anything. Luckily my last 'break down' had been one and a half year ago and my mum was finally allowing me to go out and have fun, which I was really grateful for.

The knock on my door startled me a little for I had been deep in thought. "Kai, dinner's ready." Great.

"Coming Kala!". I took a quick glance in the mirror, I did want to look presentable, and than walked down the stairs. 'Don't judge, don't judge, don't judge, don't judge'. I entered the living room and saw mum had set the table in almost the same way we used to do it with Christmas, for him. "Hey Kai, had fun today. Where'd you go?" Nevertheless my mum was still worried.

"School was a little boring, but I went to the park with my friends and we talked." I soo wasn't going to tell her about the bey-battles, she'd immediately jump me with questions referring to my health and I mean, come on, I'm fifteen not five.

"Why hello, you must be Kai. I'm Jack Hailer." The voice, once again, startled me and as I looked to my left I found myself staring into two big blue eyes. They belonged to Jack, my mum's _boy_friend. He was a lot taller than me, if I would be standing right in front of him I would be staring at his chest. He had short/long dark blond hair and was wearing a dark grey sweater with blue jeans. Not your average doctor, my mum had told us that was his profession and this was **not** what I had been expecting.

He held out his hand to me. I stared at it for two or three seconds before taking it. "N-Nice to meet you." I immediately bit my tong, great, now I'm not only looking like an idiot for staring at him, I sound like one to! His reaction, however, surprised me……again. He smiled at me, a _real_ smile. This didn't happen often. I knew my mum had told him about me and my medical _history_ since he was a doctor. And now he meets me and he smiles? Most people are afraid I'll drop if they even talk to me and just send me worried glances. I've grown custom to this over the years and just looked like I didn't care. But this man was smiling at me, and I couldn't help but smile back. This hadn't really ever happened before, the only ones who made me smile were my family and friends, and yet. This Jack, there was something about him. I felt……_trusting_ towards him and, I liked it.

"It's nice to meet you to Kai. Now what do you say we sit down and eat. You're mum made some great effort making dinner." His voice wasn't loud and booming or soft and fearful but something in between. It sounded eager and a little caring but also interested and, and…… it just sounded good.

I nodded and walked over to the table. Sitting down I looked at my mum and brother and chuckled at seeing their completely astound faces. Apparently they had thought I was going to be ice-ice-cold to Jack. Maybe I would've been but, he doesn't seem to be such a bad guy. This doesn't mean that I'll be his best friend or something. It only means that I'll give him a chance. But that means I wasn't going to give him a chance to begin with, and that's bad so.....Never mind, my mum does always say I think too much sometimes.

The rest of dinner went surprisingly smooth. Having a conversation with Jack was easier than I would have thought, he never once asked about me and allowed me to decide what I wanted to tell him about me and never pushed. He answered all my questions and treated me very normal. He didn't look at me with pity and worry thinking I was some sort of Chinese doll that was going to break which is what most people did once they found out about me.

When we'd had dessert he said he had to go because he had an appointment early tomorrow morning. When we, meaning my mum, had said 'goodbye' I just had to know. Before he got into his car I ran after him earning a confused look from my brother who (thank god) didn't stop me.

"Jack, wait!" I ran up to him while he spun around facing me. "Is something wrong Kai?" The question I was going to ask was so stupid, yet I had to know. "Why didn't you ask me about..me?" He smiled making me feel a little less uncomfortable. "Your mum was very cautious about the subject so, I didn't think you'd want to talk about it." This kinda caught me of guard, people always kept telling me that I should talk about it, especially with them never once thinking about if I even wanted to (my friends and family of course being an exception). But Jack once again showed me he was very different from the others.

"Thanks." I couldn't really think of anything else to say. He cleared his throat snapping me out of my daze and motioned me closer while whispering something in my ear. "You should probably go back. Your brother's a little confused." I turned around and saw Kala still standing in the doorway looking somewhat puzzled. I couldn't help but smile, Kala's face just looked so funny. I ran back inside and waved Jack goodbye. "What was that all about?" I looked up and saw Kala looking at me quite surprised. "Nothing extraordinary." I said while I walked away. I walked up the stairs suddenly feeling quite tired.

When in my room I dropped onto my bed pleased at how tonight went. Jack wasn't annoying or demanding or, well...anything negative. He was everything I wasn't expecting him to be, and I noticed I might be liking him. I didn't mind very much anymore that he was together with my mum after getting to know him a little. I had only seen him once and still I felt like I had known him for years. And still there was this voice in the back of my head telling me that there was something really wrong with the fact nothing seemed to be wrong. I ignored it and felt sleep take over. There was nothing wrong with Jack, nothing.

* * *

Empie: Soooo? What did you think?

Kai: What do I think!! I'M NOT WEAK!!!!! OR SICK!!!

Empie: Not you, the readers. Now stop it or you'll scare them. And I didn't make you look weak. Dealing with an illness is pretty tough in my book, especially when you don't know what you have. And don't worry, I won't make you totally ice-less. It's one of the things I like about you, don't you all agree people, tell me if you do (or don't).

Kai: And you say I'm mean, you're even more evil than the devil!!!!!!

Empie: *smiles wickedly* I know and I like. And you're stuck with that!

Kai: I'm sorry for what I said, now stop!

Empie: No can do, or no don't want to.

Kai: *looks up desperately* somebody help me kill her.

Empie: *ignores him* So please R&R, I'd love ideas since the plot isn't completely decided yet, advice is also welcome. So now please click the review button aaannd...........REVIEW (thank you).


	2. What now?

**Empie: HEEEEEEEEY, I'm back.** **Kai: Jolly……** **Empie: You like it, don't try and deny it. I know you like this fic.** **Kai: *rolls eyes* Yeah right, I just **_**love**_** having divorced parents and a never discovered disease.** **Empie: At least you have a family……instead of that **_**grandfather**_** of yours.** **Kai: *starts fuming* HE'S NOT MY GRANDF-**

Empie: Sorry!! Sheesh, talking about being stressed. Anyway he's the second chapter, hope you like!!!! *looks at Kai and blinks while using puppy eyes*

Kai: *sighs* fine. She doesn't own Beyblade or any of its characters, except for Jack, Kala and _my _mum and dad. So if you want to use them ask first, *gulps* _please_ *shudders and looks disgusted*.

**Empie: *sniffs and wipes a tear out of the corner of her eye* My little boy is growing up.** **Kai: *starts fuming again* I'M NOT YOUR LITTL-** **Empie: SORRY!!!!!!!** **Kai: *keeps on ranting*** **Empie: *whispers to readers* please enjoy.**

**Kai's POV**

Summer holiday was going great. So far it has been two weeks, two wonderful no stressed weeks. I've been to my dad last weekend and for the rest of the time hung out with my friends. People would think that beyblading would get boring after one week, but it doesn't, not to me anyway. I love it. It's one of the few things I'm good at and I'm glad Ray, Tyson and Max don't feel like they have to go easy on me since they've noticed I'm quite capable of looking after myself. Especially while beyblading.

Jack also visits everyday and, never thought I'd say this, I don't mind. I kinda like him. He treats me normally and I think he really cares about my mum, my brother and even me. He also makes us laugh, yes even me. I just get a good vibe from him.

That's why I don't understand that I feel like I should be cautious around him, like there's something wrong with the way he acts.

No, I'm just being paranoid, as always. Jack's great, even my dad thinks so. And most importantly, he makes mum happy and she deserves that. I'm just being me again, which I should really stop doing.

I open my eyes and see my room is still a bit dark, I don't mind. I'm not the person who sleeps in. I get up and wash myself and get dressed. It's a Sunday. Usually I'm at my dad's in the weekend but he had to go out of town for two weeks for business, so I'm staying with my mum.

I went downstairs and had some breakfast, not much I'm not a big eater unlike Tyson who devours everything he sees. Although I must say it has gotten less, he has developed some manners and has reduced it from 8 plates a day to 5 plates a day. Which is quite on accomplishment, for Tyson at least.

I go outside and go for a morning stroll. I like it outside in the early mornings or late evenings since they have 1 thing in common; it's quiet and there's nearly nobody outside. I like walking too, it's calming and gives me time to think. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like being with my family and friends but, just not the whole time. I need time for myself, to breath so to speak.

After a while I'm back home and notice the voices coming out of the kitchen. I close the front door and make my way to the kitchen. I see my mum and Jack sitting at the coffee table, Jack's leaning in close against my mum while whispering something in her ear which makes her giggle. I roll my eyes, I don't mind Jack being here all the time, but this sort of behaviour makes me a little sick.

When my mum sees me standing, she quickly pushes Jack away while blushing. Jack looks a bit bewildered and than sees me. He grins and shakes his head. "You know, you shouldn't sneak up on us like that." He keeps on grinning sheepishly and cocks an eyebrow.

"If you two wouldn't zone out all the time while doing what you were doing, no one would be able to sneak up on you." This left them both not knowing what to say. They apparently forgot to never start a discussion with me. I **always** win. Another something I'm pretty good at.

"Okay Kai, good point. Now, why don't you come sit with us." My mum always wanted these nice 'family' breakfasts. Although I already ate I made myself some coffee and sat down while softly blowing onto the hot liquid.

"So…Kai, what are you going to do today." I looked at my mum a bit puzzled and suddenly noticed she was fidgeting. She only fidgeted when she was nervous so I guessed she only asked me what I was going to do to avoid something else, or delay it.

"I'm going over to Ray's." I looked at her curiously while she thought of something else to say except from what was really on her mind.

"Mum, just say it." My mum looked up, a bit surprised. "What do you mean Kai?" I sighed, she knew what I was talking about.

"You're fidgeting, asking pointless questions and avoiding to look me in the eyes. There's obviously something on your mind so just spill it." Her reaction wasn't entirely what I had expected, she smiled. "You always were good at reading people huh Kai." She sighed. "Well, it's just. The hospital paged me and told me I had to work tonight, and tomorrow night and…well for the rest of the week. And Kala's coming with me to make his school report so…you'll be alone."

Great.

It's summer holiday for gods sakes. And she has to work, perfect. Maybe I can work something out with Ray. Nehh, his parents were friendly but also overprotective of me. Max? Oh right, he went on holiday to Europe for two weeks. Tyson? Uhm, oh no wait, he's also gone. Visiting his grandfather somewhere for a week. As much as I liked being alone, being alone every night for this week and probably longer isn't what I want.

Apparently this was showing as my mum immediately apologised and told me she'd make it up to me. Not wanting her to feel guilty I faked a smile and told her not to worry. She wasn't buying it and told me to tell her what I wanted to do and we'd do it. Just as I was going to say something however, Jack beat me and spoke first.

"I could keep you company if you want to?" It took me a while before I realised the question was directed at me as Jack was now staring at me. I had no clue what to say but I didn't have to, my mum spoke for me.

"Oooh Jack! That would be wonderful! It's only for the evenings and than Kai won't be alone. Are you sure? 'Cause that would be really great, right Kai."

Now they were both looking at me. Fantastic. I don't really want to be alone _all_ the time, but Jack? Sure, he's nice and lets me do whatever I want but, I don't know him that well and have never been alone with him.

On the other hand, my mum would worry sick about me and I know she'd feel better if I wasn't home alone. I didn't want her to worry about me so, I decided to agree just so she would get some sort of peace of mind at her work.

"Uhm, sure, I guess that would be okay." My mum looked all happy and couldn't stop smiling, giving me the impression I made her happy saying 'yes'. I chuckled a little upon seeing this, I think it's safe to say she won't be worrying about me……much.

"Ooh great!! That's so sweet of you Jack, thank you." That last part was just a murmur. She kept whispering 'thank you's' while leaning closer to him. Having an idea of what was coming I gulped down the rest of my coffee leaving the empty cup on the table while quickly exiting the kitchen.

Glancing at the clock I decided I might as well go over to Ray's a little early, I knew he'd be up. He was somewhat like me with that, he never liked to sleep in. Having decided what to do I left a note for my mum, she was bound to forget where I was and start panicking, not something I wanted to happen.

Ray's parents luckily weren't home (they were shopping or something) and Ray and me had the house to ourselves. Not that we stayed inside, the weather was way to good. With the other two hyper guys gone we just relaxed and bladed and relaxed and bladed. I liked this about Ray, he's always the serious type of our group (apart from me that is) and this also meant he didn't mind staying at one place the entire day as he saw no need in running around like a chicken who has lost his head which is what Max always seemed to do.

The day went by slowly yet quickly (I know, pretty weird huh) and before I knew it I had to go home for dinner. I said goodbye to Ray and made it home just in time to see my mum……leave? Right, hospital night shift, nearly forgot about that. She and my brother got in the car and drove of. Waving as they past me by I walked up to the house greeted by a joyful Jack.

"Hey Kai, you missed dinner. But don't worry there's still some left."

"Thanks." I had decided to not avoid Jack but just to be around him as less as possible, at least for tonight. I mean, I liked Jack but wasn't to thrilled about being alone with him, I was doing this mostly for my mum.

I went inside and grabbed the plate that had been left on the table. I heard Jack close the front door and hurried up the stairs taking two steps at a time. Once in my room I ate my dinner (or at least some of it) and turned on my computer. I'd met someone in a chat box and found I could talk with him (I know it's a he) very easily. He told me he was alone a lot and since I was too this week I didn't mind spending my evenings talking to him. He was one of the few who could make me laugh, which is quite hard to accomplish if you're a stranger to me, but with him it wasn't even awkward. I could always tell him anything and felt no need in keeping things to myself with him. I know you shouldn't trust people you don't know but still, I'm very good at reading people even over the internet and I never felt any doubt about him.

I logged on, scrolled down the page and found him; **Couyu**. I send him a message for a private conversation and he immediately accepted.

**Couyu**: Heey, Tri, how are things going, killed your mums friend already?

**Trishark**: Good thanks, and no he's still alive.

**Couyu**: sounds like you regret not killing him……yet that is .

**Trishark**: No, I mean I'm not going to kill him. Not now and not ever, or maybe you're only saying stuff like that 'cause you want him dead? But you don't even know him!

**Couyu**: Wow, calm down Tri. I don't want him dead but I thought you didn't like the idea of some other guy together with your mum? I'm pretty sure that was your statement about two weeks ago.

**Trishark**: Yeah, I know. But he's not that bad, he's quite fun and he makes my mum happy which is the only reason He and me are together in the same house, alone.

**Couyu**: Are you sure that's the only reason?

**Trishark**: YES!!!!! Of course it is what else would it be!

**Couyu**: Okay, okay I'm sorry don't pop a vain. Wait, you alone with him? How did that happen?

**Trishark**: My mum and brother are gone and my mum didn't want to leave me alone. So I did her a favour and allowed her _boyfriend_ (still hate that word) to stay with me giving her some peace of mind.

**Couyu**: But you're alone……with him……the entire night?

**Trishark**: Yes, why is that so hard to believe? And if you're thinking about it; no, I'm not going to kill him.

**Couyu**: You already said you weren't going to kill him, but what about talk to him, you said yourself he's fun.

**Trishark**: Yes but, it's still weird. I mean, he's my mums boyfriend. What am I supposed to do, go downstairs and watch a movie with him :\

**Couyu**: For example. You could also play a game or just talk.

**Trishark**: WHY would I want to that????? Even better question, WHY would YOU want me to do that?????

**Couyu**: You want to do that 'cause it's rude to ignore someone and especially when that someone is somebody you know and like. I want you to do that 'cause if you don't, I'll be stuck reading you rambling on and on about him since I know you want to go down and at least try to get to know him!

**Trishark**: ……………………………

**Couyu**: WOW!!!!! Did I just leave you speechless??!!

**Trishark**: Don't get to used to it!

**Couyu**: Damn. Well, it was fun while it lasted. Now, are you going to talk to him or what? I have to go anyway, my mum's calling me (me don't want to but me have to!).

**Trishark**: Whawha, have fun helping her doing the dishes (or something!!).

**Couyu**: Yeah, haha, real funny. But are you going??

**Couyu**: Hello, anyone home???

**Couyu**: Tri????

**Couyu**: TRI!!!!!!!!!!

'**Trishark has logged of'**

**Couyu**: Great , I'm talking to myself again. Thanks Tri ;)

'**Couyu has logged of'**

I chuckled a little to myself while reading his last message, that Couyu. I had no idea who he was but, he always managed to make me feel better and (unfortunately) was almost always right. I should go downstairs and talk to Jack, I just didn't want to because…?

_Because you think he's somehow a bad person and you're scared of him._ Yep, that stupid voice was back again. But me, scared? No way, that couldn't be it. I pondered a little about a reasonable excuse to not go downstairs and eventually came up totally empty.

I sighed and shut my computer down, walking down the stairs I heard to sounds of hushed voices and booming laughter every now and than. Comedians. I had learned Jack was completely crazy about them. I opened the door and stepped into the living room, whatever I had wanted to say suddenly stuck in the back of my throat as I saw Jack, and the rest of the room.

Jack was sitting on the sofa with his feet lying in front of him on the table, he was watching the TV intensely. But this wasn't what worried or even scared me, the state the room was in did. There were at least ten empty beer bottles lying around and there were snacks like nuts and chips lying all over the floor, he even had a half-empty whisky bottle in his hand.

As soon as I opened the door he snapped his head in my direction and stared straight into my eyes. His were…well…_freaking_ me _out_! They were red and bloodshot from all the alcohol he'd been drinking and his eyelids were drooping a little. This didn't scare me as much as the fierceness of his eyes, they were burning. I had the feeling he wasn't just looking at me, he was looking _into_ me. This also kind of surprised me. I would have expected him to be completely out of it after drinking so much in just an hour or so. But he wasn't, he looked completely awake and he just stared at me with a very sickening grin on his face and a certain insanity shimmering in his eyes.

"Well hello, _Kai_."

I couldn't help it, those three words sent a flood of shivers down my spine. He was looking at me with an almost hungry look in his eyes that I couldn't explain and the way he'd just addressed me, like I was something very filthy underneath his shoe.

I just stood there completely frozen and gaped at him. I had no idea what to do as my mind was apparently on strike or something and couldn't process what was going on here.

This he apparently didn't like and before I knew it he was standing right in front of me and his fist connecting rather hard with my chest. He was pretty strong and completely knocked the breath out of me. I grasped my chest with both my arms and fell to my knees panting heavily trying to regain some of my lost air.

I hadn't even been on my knees for two seconds or so before I felt a hand roughly taking hold of my throat and pulling me up while slamming my head against the wall. I gasped a little from shock but mostly from the pain that flashed trough me that left me feeling quite dazed while my head started pounding very painfully.

"Don't you know not answering someone is _very rude_."

His grip around my throat tightened even more at his last two words now really starting to stop my air supply. My hands immediately shot up to my throat frantically trying to loosen his grip but the only result that gave was another punch in my stomach. I felt like coughing but without any air left in my lungs this couldn't happen and instead a sort of groan made its way out of my mouth. He either found this very pleasant or very annoying as there came another punch……and another. After number five (I think) he stopped and loosened his grip on my throat a little allowing me to take in a well needed breath.

My insides felt so tossed around that I had no idea if they were even there anymore. The only thing I could make out was the very uneasy and nauseas feeling I had, the dizziness I was feeling from the fact he kept banging my head against the wall wasn't helping me keeping my food down either. Add to that me not being able to breath and you can understand why I just limply fell to the ground when he finally released his grip on my throat.

I just lay there on the floor, taking in big gulps on air and listening to the ragged sounds of my breathing. I had one arm around my chest and was with the other hand trying to sooth my painful throat. He seemed to be done, I really hoped he was. But it seemed my luck had run out.

He suddenly kicked me against my ribs sending a pang of pain through my chest. I immediately folded my arms over my chest trying to shield myself of his attacks. It helped to diminish the pain in my chest but now my arms were burning because of his kicks. When he finally stopped my breaths were way to fast and my upper body was aching.

"Now than Kai, let's keep this between you and me, hm?" Although it was asked as a question his tone suggested a…command? He apparently had been waiting for my answer as another kick connected with my arms and chest sending new waves of pain through them.

"What did I just tell you about not answering!"

I cringed upon hearing his voice so close to my ear, almost literally spitting the words out as if it were a waste of time spending them on me.

"Now what is your answer." The way he talked actually reminded of a snake. I wasn't quite sure what I should answer and just nodded hoping that would be okay. Apparently it was.

"Good boy, 'cause you wouldn't want that brother of yours getting hurt now would you."

This time I understood the question and was really alarmed by it. Kala?! He's threatening Kala!! I was so enraged I felt like jumping up and kicking his ass across the room. His foot pressing down on my right arm kept me on the ground. He was pressing quite hard and it hurt like hell but, I was determined not to let it show. He was now looking down on me and asked with a voice clouded with venom "Would you?!"

Knowing he wanted an answer and not to anxious on finding out what would happen if I wouldn't give him one I shook my head.

"Great, now that we understand each other. I suggest you go upstairs and stay there the entire night. I have no need in seeing you again tonight, understood _Kai_." His voice yet again sent shivers down my spine, it just sounded so venomous yet emotionless and without care, it seriously freaked me out which is normally quite a hard job to do. But not wanting another kick or hit and just wanting to get away from him I nodded and pushed myself up.

While walking upstairs the dizziness only became worse in the end making my attempts to not throw up completely in vain. I felt the control slip away and quickly went into the bathroom. I kneeled in front of the toilet and let go of everything. I immediately tasted something very gruesome in my mouth and emptied my entire stomach in what seemed like a very short time.

I quickly flushed the toilet not wanting to see my own vomit and stood up trembling. I walked over to the sink and rested my hands on either side of it holding myself up. Looking up in the mirror I saw a very pale boy looking back at me. I looked horrible, my eyes were red from the tears I had been holding back which were now flowing freely, my skin was so white I looked like a ghost and my forehead was covered with tiny sweat drops giving me an unhealthy looking appearance.

I turned of the bathroom lights and stumbled into my room shaking uncontrollably. I collapsed onto my bed and looked up at the ceiling finally having time to think about what had just happened. Jack had been drinking, beaten the crap out of me and than threatened to hurt Kala if I told anyone. THIS IS INSANE!!!!!

I had absolutely no idea what to do now. Tell, don't tell. Tell seemed like a sensible option only, mum would be devastated, again, and Jack might hurt Kala. Don't tell sounded completely stupid but was the only option I had that didn't involve anyone getting hurt. And he had drunk a lot, maybe he'd be sorry in the morning. Than no one had to know and my mum and brother wouldn't be hurt. But maybe Ray…no, he'd get involved and might end up screwing things up. And besides, I don't want people to think I can't take care of myself. Because I can, Jack just…didn't know what he was doing, yeah that's it. Things will be back to normal by tomorrow, I shouldn't think so much.

_But what if things aren't okay by tomorrow, what if he doesn't feel sorry. You can't keep it in, you'll break down again and people will see what kind of weak little kid you really are._

Shut up!!! That stupid voice again, why can't it ever be quiet.

It did have a point. What if things wouldn't return to normal, I can't risk breaking down again, not now everybody finally started to slowly forget their worries for me. I knew eventually I had to tell somebody, but I couldn't tell mum or Kala. Mum would be devastated and I couldn't hurt her like that, not after she went through a divorce just one and a half year ago. And Kala, if I tell him he might end up getting hurt, same goes for my friends. Great, so basically I'm screwed if things don't stop.

Wait…wait…Yes! Of course, I could possibly, if there's really no other option talk to Couyu. He has no idea who I am and vice versa so he isn't in any danger and, he has an answer to almost everything. Yeah, I could tell him, if necessary.

I was having trouble falling asleep, Jack's enraged face kept showing up in front of my eyes every time I closed them. So I opened them again and stared up at my ceiling. My vision was clearer now as my eyes had gotten used to the dark and the tears had finally stopped falling. I found myself very on edge listening to every sound heard in the entire house.

I jumped a little when I heard the front door close. Listening very carefully to the voices coming from downstairs I immediately recognized my mum and Kala. Hearing them and therefore knowing I wasn't alone anymore I closed my eyes and found myself extremely worn out. It therefore didn't take long before my head went clear from all thoughts and I retreated into the comfortable darkness of my dreams, the one place no one would ever be able to hurt me.

Empie: That was a little longer than the first one, but I hope you still feel like R&R-ing. (reviews are the air I breath and the ground I walk on so, PLEASE!!!!!!!)

Kai: "………"

Empie: YES!! You're actually at a loss of words, finally some peace and quiet around here.


	3. I'm,,,

Empie: Hello, I'm BACK!! Finally. I'm soooooooo sorry for the long wait, but my school has invented something to torture their students……a testweek *shivers*, which basically means I have to use all my free time to _study_, yuck!

Kai: Oh no, No, NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Empie: Ooh please, stop making a fuss out of things. The testweek is almost over, it's not such a big deal, anymore.

Kai: No you moron, YOU writing again, THAT'S the big deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Empie: Still a little ticked of about how this story's going I see.

Kai: *shoots famous death glare at empie* A LITTLE!!!!! After you wrote the last chapter you're thinking I'm a LITTLE ticked of!!??

Empie: Sheesh, okay, maybe a lot. But still-

Kai: *cuts her short by lunging at her*

Empie: *dodges while shouting at readers* Kisses and hugs to those who reviewed and have fun with chapter three!

* * *

**Kai's POV**

"Wake up…Kai!..........WAKE UP!!!!!"

I grunted and rolled onto my back. "What…w-who?" I stuttered a little while suppressing a yawn.

"Yo Kai, get up it's past eleven in the morning."

"Kala?" The confusion I felt clearly showed in my voice, why was he waking me up?....Wait a minute, past _eleven_ in the morning!!! I never slept in, ever??!!

My eyes shot open and I found myself looking into two worried(?) brown eyes, Kala's. I glanced at my bedside clock and saw he was right, it was ten past eleven. How the hell did I sleep this long???????

"Hey buddy, are you feeling alright? You never really sleep long, and now it's nearly noon!?" I guess I had been right about the worry in his eyes, it was now showing in his voice as well.

"No, don't worry Kala, I'm fine, just tired I guess." My voice sounded a little groggy seeing I had just woken up and the corners of my mouth twisted up in a little smile.

"Okay, anyway. Mum wants you down for breakfast, a _family_ breakfast." I heard the sarcasm in his voice and chuckled a little, me and my brother both thought family breakfasts were quite annoying, most of the time.

"Sooo, be down in five. And please don't go back to sleep." A crooked smile stood on his face as I nodded and he opened my bedroom door while leaving.

As soon as he left and closed the door behind him I let my head fall back onto my pillow a small smile forming on my face. I took a deep breath, and immediately felt something was wrong. My chest was aching, my arms shot up in response and started burning. I lifted my head back up to take a look at my arms and chest and saw…a blanket? Didn't I fell asleep on top of my blanket? Oh no right, I woke up in the middle of the night, washed, changed into my pyjamas and laid back down underneath my blankets trying to sleep. I hadn't really gotten any sleep (which is why I had slept in) as I kept waking up because of my nightmares. Most of them involved a crazy Jack, a scared Kala and loads of hitting for me.

I pushed myself up and winced a little as my aching muscles were set into motion, again. I climbed out of my bed and gasped when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

My bare chest was a sea of little black and blue spots, there were two big bruises on my stomach and my arms were even worse. The front of both my upper arms were totally blue as they had served as a shield to protect my chest and had therefore taken the full blow of the kicks. As I looked closer I could even make out some bruises on my throat where he had grabbed me. As soon as I thought of Jack I shivered, yesterday evening still very fresh in my mind.

Wait, Jack, mum, breakfast. Alarm bells were going of in my head. I couldn't tell mum, no one could ever find out. I didn't want them to know how weak I was, destroy mum's happiness or…well I just didn't want to find out what Jack would do to anyone who knew.

"KAI!!!!" Kala's voice came from downstairs and sounded a little annoyed. I opened my door and yelled a reply.

"Coming!!"

I went back into my room and opened my closet. While going through my cloths I fished out a white top with no sleeves and a high collar too cover the bruises on my throat, (I usually wear black but in summer I make an exception because of the heat) underwear, a wide pair of black pants and my arm guards with sleeves to cover up my arms. I was for the first time very grateful for the fact I usually always wore those arms guards as now people won't be asking questions as to why I was wearing them in the middle of the summer.

I grabbed a pair of socks and my usual shoes, put them on and ran downstairs. When I reached the kitchen the table had already been set and my mum and Kala were waiting for me. I sat down while Kala rolled his eyes in a finally-I-get-to-eat way. I smiled apologetic while I took a look at what was on the table. Mum apparently still felt guilty for leaving me alone yesterday; she bought my favourite bread, white (she had also put some in the toaster), and everything **I** liked on it. I looked up at my mum and saw her smiling at me, I smiled back and grabbed some toast and the cheese.

"I see mister sleepy is finally up."

I froze, my knife hovering above my toast, as Jack's voice came form behind me. No one really seemed to notice as my brother said hi and went back to eating and my mum shared a _very_ long kiss with him. When they were finally finished, he (fortunately) went to sit in between Kala and my mum.

"So honey, how was it last night?"

I froze, again, but quickly adjusted myself and thought of an answer I would have given if last night had been...normal.

"F-Fine, I guess."

I managed a forced smile at her and turned my attention back at my toast, only to find my appetite had vanished nearly completely. I fiddled a little with my toast, eating it very slowly, and listened to the conversation, hearing who was talking but not listening to what they were saying.

I looked up feeling someone was looking at me (yes I have always been able to do that) and found myself looking at Jack. His blue eyes weren't alcohol-possessed anymore and looked fully awake but, as I looked closer I could see something had changed.

They weren't as friendly as the first time I had seen them, they had a spark of………something. I wasn't exactly sure what it was but it only grew bigger as he looked at me which made me feel really uncomfortable. You wouldn't be able to see it if you weren't looking for it or knew it was there but, it was and he was again totally freaking me out. His gaze had something possessive in it and I found myself unable to break away from it.

When he finally broke away I immediately looked down and noticed my hands were trembling, forming fists to hide my panic I quickly made a plan.

Mum and Kala were going away tonight leaving me alone with Jack. I had no idea if he was going to repeat what he had done yesterday but I wasn't going to take any changes. Mum has to work from six to eleven and thus should be home by half past eleven. If I could lay low 'till then, nothing could happen. And, the easiest way to do that is by not being home and to do that I will have to ask Ray if I can stay with him.

Having made a plan I felt a little better (thinking always did this to me) and excused myself from the table. I felt like running as soon as I got up to my feet but controlled the urge and walked over to the door, al the time keeping my hands in fists to keep them from shaking.

When I had closed the door behind me things got to much and I started running. People were walking on the sidewalk and there were angry shouts from drivers stuck in traffic but, I couldn't care less. I didn't hear anything else than my own footsteps and the pounding of my heart, I bumped into at least two people but never really noticed.

I rounded another corner and nearly slipped, while staggering to stay on my feet things started to flood my mind. Yesterday evening kept on replaying itself, the nightmares in which Kala was hurt flashed trough my mind, Jack's eyes from this morning kept staring at me full of lust or something.

I pushed myself to go faster, trying to escape my own mind, trying to forget. My legs were burning but it was nothing compared to the pain in my chest, my breaths were ragged and extremely fast and pain flashed through my chest with each breath and still, I didn't slow down. I knew trying to run away would never work but, I had to try something.

My blood was pounding in my head and a headache made itself known banging away at the inside of my skull. Everything around me was a complete blur and sounds had come together becoming a buzz that was intensified because of my headache and –

-CRASH-

I had apparently run into someone as I fell forward onto something quite soft, another person. I was still breathing pretty fast and my headache had only intensified because of the crash. After a while I pushed myself up by using my arms and upon opening my eyes found myself staring into two liquid honey ones, which were looking up at me quite confused.

'Uh oh', was the only thing going through my mind.

**Ray's POV**

I closed the door behind me and slipped the key into my pocket. My parents were out of town for a few days and had trusted me enough to stay home alone!!!! Of course the neighbours checked in every now and then but still, I was home…alone!!!!

Feeling rather proud of myself that my parents trusted me enough to leave me alone I walked out onto the street and turned right. Kai and me were going to meet at the mall and make up our minds on what to do today, there. Maybe we could go to the park and the cinema, I heard some really good mo-

-CRASH-

'What the…' Something…no, some_one_ crashed into me with such force I was blown off of my feet only to land on my back quite painfully. My head connected with the streets and for a moment things were a bit of a blur. I blinked a few times trying to make out something, it was than I noticed that whoever had crashed into me was still lying on top of me. But before I could say anything the person moved, pushed himself up and opened his eyes.

I think that I was just as surprised as he was…Kai? I saw that his eyes clearly show some confusion, until that confusion made place for acknowledgement and finally his 'normal' expression of eternal boredom came up. This…surprised me, he had never used that expression around me, his friends or (as far as I know) his family. At school, yes, but not with me, not ever, so why start now???

"He Ray, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention as to where I was going. You okay?"

That tone!!!! It completely matched his expression of indifference, but…he _never_ used that tone on me…ever!

"He, Ray……are you okay, Ray?"

I mentally relaxed, Kai had sounded worried. Not that I particularly like it when someone's worried, especially Kai but, right now, anything's better than his indifference act.

I noticed he was now really staring at me with worry filled eyes…Oh right, I hadn't answered him yet. My over-confused brain finally completed the task of constructing a fitting answer.

"I-I'm fine."

Oh great, I stuttered. I could see he wasn't believing me so I quickly decided to ask him a question before he could ask me another one.

"Kai, could you, perhaps, move. I'm not planning on lying here all day."

I could see a little grin on his face as he pushed himself to his feet. I could also see he relaxed as he heard me speak, he really had been worried about me. This thought created a smile on my face as I too got to my feet.

The smile, however, was shortly lived as I immediately started swaying on my feet while feeling extremely lightheaded. Colours swam across my vision and my right hand flew to the back of my head, it was throbbing pretty painfully. I think I hit the street a little harder than I first anticipated.

Just as I felt like I was going to go crashing towards the ground again, two hands placed themselves on my shoulders firmly, steadying me. I leaned into their grip and waited for the pain in my head to subside, my vision to clear and the muscles in my legs to start functioning normally again.

"Yeah, you're just feeling great Ray, that's why you nearly fainted."

I smiled a little as I could hear the sarcasm in his voice, this was the Kai I knew, the I-will-only-talk-to-you-and-care-about-you-if-I-know-you-and-if-I-don't-know-you-you-won't-even-notice-me Kai. By now my vision had cleared and I looked at him.

"No, that would have to do with the fact I was just hit by a beautiful enraged buffalo."

A _beautiful_enraged buffalo??? Where the heck did that come form. I hated buffalo's, especially when they're mad, so, what did I mean by that. I couldn't actually think Kai was beautiful……could I?

I could see he was thinking the exact same thing because he was looking at me as if I had just declared I was a three-headed duck, completely stunned, confused and a tat worried.

"Yeah, whatever you say Ray, let's just get you home. You should lie down."

He was gently pushing me into the direction I had come from and I was still a little too dizzy and utterly confused to be complaining. He was walking next to me with his hands still on my shoulders while never taking his eyes off of me for more than two seconds.

I was still holding my head and it felt like a little electric shock course through it with every step adding themselves to my dizziness. But still, what just happened back there. Did I really think of Kai as … beautiful?? I mean, he was a friend, one of my best. There was absolutely no way I could like him in _that_ way. Right?

"Ray…………Ray!!"

I was snapped out of my oh so confusing thoughts by Kai.

"We're here, and I don't have any keys since this is _your_ house."

I smiled, maybe a little sheepishly, and took the keys out of my pocket before I opened the door. Kai, while still holding me, led me towards my bedroom and told me to rest.

At first I wanted to argue but thought better of it. My head was still pounding away happily and a very drained felling made itself known. I laid down, faintly noticing Kai closing the curtains in my bedroom and turning off the light before my mind slip into the dream-world.

**Kai's POV**

Great, great, great, great, great!!!!!!!!!! This was just fucking GREAT! First, I, quite literally, run into Ray causing him to hit his head and the street. Then, because of that, he starts talking nonsense and I have to bring him home where he crashes into his bed, which by the way, was seven _hours_ ago!!! And that all because of me………me, ME, _ME_, _ME_, _**ME**_!!!!!

"AAAAAAAAARGH"

I slapped my hands over my mouth realizing I had been screaming out loud with Ray lying next door. I tip-toed over to his room and opened the door a little. I let out the breath I had been holding when I saw he was still asleep. I was about to close the door when I heard a groan come from inside the room.

I immediately reopened the door fully and saw Ray sitting up in his bed squinting his eyes against the sudden burst of light.

"What the…Kai? What are you doing here? What happened, oh wait, scratch that, that I can remember. What time is it?"

I sighed, Ray would never change. "Too answer your questions in order; I've been waiting for you to wake up to see if you were okay since you did hit your head pretty hard, and it's……half past seven.

Ray's eyes widened at that last bit of information.

"Half past seven???!! I've been asleep for almost the entire day?!!"

I couldn't help but smile at his shocked expression, it just looked so, well, Ray-ish.

"Shit! I'm supposed to be at the Smith's at seven. They're gonna kill me if I'm late!"

Ray immediately jumped out of bed and started fussing over his incredibly long hair while cussing softly under his breath. He than put on his shoes and ran past me towards the kitchen.

After a few seconds of astonishment over the fact he had done all that in less than a minute I ran after him still a little worried.

"Ray, you shouldn't be running around. You hit your head…hard, and now you need to rest."

Trying to make Ray see sense is impossible, I know, that doesn't mean I won't try.

"No, I need to go. You should probably go to. Oh man, I'm so _late_!"

He rushed over to the door while eating a sandwich and held it open for me, knowing he was right about going home I walked outside. The second I was out, so was he slamming the door shut and grabbing his bike.

"I'm really, _really_ sorry Kai. I know I just totally ruined your day but I'll make it up tomorrow, I promise. But now I really need to go, I'm sorry."

I was really getting tired of hearing him apologize. _I_ was the one who rah into _him_ right, so that would make it my fault.

"You shouldn't be sorry, it was my fault not yours."

But he was already gone. His enormously long hair dancing behind him as he raced over the streets, the sunset giving his appearance something mysterious. Wait, _what_? Mysterious???? What the heck am I thinking about. I shook my head to rid my mind of such weird thoughts.

Still trying to figure out and forget my thoughts at the same time I began to walk home. Not noticing I was there until I was standing right in front of the door.

I looked at it and blinked a few times before I fully understood where I was, home.

………………………………………wait………home………as in h-o-m-e……………………………………??

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOME, or more importantly, JACK. I so totally forgot about him, damn! I was so captured in my panicked thoughts I didn't notice someone opening the door until that someone started talking.

"Finally decided to show up did we."

I froze. Jack………he didn't sound drunk, but he did sound _extremely_ mad and, more disturbingly, dangerous. I gulped and looked up, which I immediately wish I hadn't done.

His eyes were harsh and cold. But now the spark of this morning could be clearly seen and identified………_lust_. I wanted to run, to scream, to cry, but I just stood there, not wanting to give him a reason.

He suddenly took my upper arm and yanked me inside before closing the door. He than held me so close to his face I could clearly see his pores.

"I suggest you go upstairs, eat the foot your _mother_ made you and stay upstairs for the remainder of the evening, am I understood!"

At that last part his grip tightened, cutting of the blood flow to my arm. I bit my lip as to not make a sound and nodded. I wanted nothing else but to get away from him, to go to my room and wait for my mum to come home and than cry with her arms safely around me. That last part of course couldn't happen, as I had to keep my mouth shut to protect Kala, but still, it sounded so tempting.

Jack than, finally, released his death grip on my arm and harshly pushed me in the direction of the stairs, making me stumble which in turn made him snicker. The sound sounded sickening and I ran upstairs, into my room, and closed the door.

For what felt like hours but turned out to be fifteen minutes I just stood there and looked at the door. Finally I had calmed down a bit and convinced myself he wasn't coming up. I let out a long and shaky sigh and sunk down on my desk chair. I looked at my computer and suddenly felt the urge to talk to Couyu. He always made me feel better and was the only one I could talk to right now, without _him_ noticing that is.

I turned on the computer, logged on and smiled when I found him, he, once again, didn't hesitate to start a private conversation with me.

**Couyu**: HEEEEEY! How're things going?? How's the boyfriend ;)?

Ooh great, just the one thing I didn't want to talk about. I should've known he would bring it up. Now what am I gonna say…the truth, NO. Okay, calm down Kai, breath in………and out, that's it…calm down. Now, you're not gonna tell him. He'll just start worrying and that's the last thing you want.

**Couyu**: Hello??? Anyone home???????

Right, he's still expecting a reaction.

**Trishark: **Good, I guess. And you make it sound like he's mine, which he's definitely NOT, he's my mums, and he's fine.

**Couyu**: Eew, no, of course he's not yours. But he's fine, fhew, that means I don't need to report a murder……right?

Ooh man, he's never gonna let that go. Why does he keep on going on, I don't wanna talk about him. Right, he doesn't know, and I need to keep it that way…this could turn out to be a loooong night.

**Trishark**: No, he's not dead. Happy?

**Couyu**: Yeah. Sheesh dude, chill, I was just teasing you a little.

**Trishark**: Whatever. Have you seen that new movie, G.I. Joe?? It's supposed to be really good.

**Couyu**: No…I haven't………. Are you okay, you're ignoring the subject???

Damn, why did Couyu have to be so observing and right all the time. Come on Kai, make up a lie…fast!.............Got it!!

**Trishark**: I'm not ignoring, I'm changing. There's a difference. I just don't want to talk about Jack all the time, there are other, more interesting, things we can talk about.

As soon as I pressed ENTER I saw my mistake. SHIT, I called Jack by his name. Not good, not good, not good, not good, not good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT GOOD!!!!!

**Couyu**: ????????????????? uh, Tri…….What's going on? You've never said his name, or any name for that matter, before???? Why start now?

I didn't have that much time to think about what I was going to do to fix this. My bedroom door swung open and hit the wall with an enormous BANG, making me jump and turn around only to stare into two crazed blue eyes, Jack…

"What are you doing, _boy_."

I cringed, I couldn't help it, I was terrified of him. The way he spoke to me, like he _owned_ me, and somehow didn't like that. Within a second he stood right beside me grabbed me by my shoulders successfully lifting me off of my chair.

"What have I told you about not answering me!!! I think you need another lesson in manners."

I was frozen, I couldn't move. The sound of his voice was sending shivers down my spine while I was already shaking uncontrollably out of fear. I didn't have to wait long, after about three seconds he had thrown me on the floor and was, once again, attacking me unmercifully with kicks, everywhere. My chest (which I was trying to protect with my arms) my stomach, my legs, my back and at the end even my head.

That last kick left me quite dazed…but not dazed enough. I could feel my entire body scream (which is exactly what I did while receiving the kicks), not one part of my body had been spared. Well, he didn't touch my face, probably 'cause that's hard to cover up.

"You little piece of shit! How dare you tell that kid my name!!!!"

That sentence gave me two more kicks to the stomach. I was trying to curl up in a ball, but my legs weren't really responding. So I just lay there panting, hoping for it all to stop. But…………wait a minute, I told some kid his name?? Who the- Couyu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My eyes shot open and surely Jack was standing in front op my computer…typing? NO, not Couyu. What's he telling him. Leave him alone!! I wanted to shout, tell him to stop, but my vocal cords couldn't produce any other sound than a low grunt.

This made Jack look up while pushing on one more key, probably ENTER. He then walked over to me and grabbed a handful of my hair, yanking my head up so my dulled crimson red met with his crazed icy blue.

"Do you seriously think that…Couyu, is you're friend. He's probably a fifty year old guy who's in need of attention. You don't have any friends. Anyone who calls themselves your friend just feels sorry for you. They don't really want to be your friend, the just feel _sorry_ for you. But you know, you're not even worth their pity, you're not worth anything. You're just a stupid kid with a stupid health who caused his own parents to get divorced. You ruined your own family, it's all your fault. If you would die, things would only be better."

With that he dropped my head and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

No way, he was lying. I-I have friends. They care about me. And my parents divorce wasn't my fault, they told me that. I…I-I'm not worthless.

_Really? Than where are your friends now?? Oh right, they're on holiday, glad to be away from you. Just like Ray, he couldn't wait to leave tonight, to get away from you. And your parents…of course it's your fault. With that stupid health of yours, they probably played rock-paper-scissors to decide who had to keep you. You're worthless, you're pathetic, weak, alone. Nobody cares about you, no one cares about what happens to you, you deserve all of it. Nobody cares._

_Nobody cares……_

_Nobody…_

_cares……._

I couldn't stop the tears anymore. I clutched my head with both my hands and cried, the knowledge that Jack and that stupid voice were right grew with each tear.

_Worthless…_

_Weak…_

_Pathetic…_

_Alone…_

_All your fault…_

_Nobody cares……_

"Shut up, please……just shut up."

_Worthless…_

_Weak…_

_Pathetic…_

_Alone…_

_All your fault…_

_Nobody cares…_

"No, please shut up……please."

_**Worthless…**_

_**Weak…**_

_**Pathetic…**_

_**Alone…**_

_**All your fault…**_

_**Nobody cares…**_

"No…I…don't, go away, go away, go away."

_**WORTHLESS…**_

_**WEAK…**_

_**PATHETIC…**_

_**ALONE…**_

_**ALL YOUR FAULT…**_

_**NOBODY CARES…**_

I knew they were right, and I just couldn't bring myself to fight them anymore. I just lay still and allowed myself to be engulfed by the voices, letting them engrave themselves into my soul. Allowing them to roam my dreams and give way to nightmares, knowing they were right……they were right……were right……right………

_**WORTHLESS!!!**_

"I'm worthless..."

_**WEAK!!!**_

"I'm weak..."

_**PATHETIC!!!**_

"I'm pathetic..."

_**ALONE!!!**_

"I'm alone..."

_**ALL YOUR FAULT!!!**_

"It's all my fault..."

_**NOBODY CARES!!!**_

"Nobody cares about me..."

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Empie: Wooooow, I can't believe that just happened. I mean I actually finished the third chapter!!! YES!!!

Kai: You WHAT!!! You really don't have a heart do you. What the heck did I do for you to hate me this much??!!

Empie: Ouch, of course I have a heart, that's why I'll fix everything, don't worry. And I don't hate you, I love you, you're the coolest!!!! That's why I'm writing this. *smiles at Kai really cutely*

Kai:*sweatdrops and looks distressed* You're sick in your head, you know that.

Empie: No, I'm nicely crazed. And if you think this is bad *smiles evilly while eyes look crazed* wait 'till you see the other story I'm working on.

Kai: *hacks into empie's computer files and faints of shock when he has read the story*

Empie: Oops, maybe I should have waited a little longer before telling him that. Anyway, you can all see that button which says 'REVIEW'. So, click on it and thaaaaaan, review!!! Please, please, please!!!


	4. Friends,,, or not?

**Disclaimer:** Would I be writing fanfiction if I owned it?? Right, I think not. (If you thought yes, you should seriously get yourself checked)

Empie: Hy, it's me again.

Kai: *sits in corner with knees drawn up to his chest with his arms around them while rocking back and forth* It's just a nightmare, it's just a nightmare, she's not real, it's just a nightmare.

Empie: *looks at Kai with sympathy while mumbling to no one in particular* He's not really taking this well, now is he.

Kai: *continues to rock back and forth while mumbling incoherent things*

Empie: *sighs* Anyway, heeeerees chapter 4!!!!!!! And before I start, I want to give a special thank you to all those who have reviewed my story so far: VeekaIzhanez, chocolatexloverx16, miella allstar, sasukechika, d1bontemp and .

Enjoy!!

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**Couyu's POV**

**Trishark**: I'm not ignoring, I'm changing. There's a difference. I just don't want to talk about Jack all the time, there are other, more interesting, things we can talk about.

He doesn't want to talk about _Jack_. For one, he always wanted to talk about his mum's boyfriend. And secondly……since when did Trishark started mentioning names. He had been the one who had said he'd never tell me is name, or even the country he lived in, and now he's just blurping out that guys name??? Now I'm positive something's wrong.

**Couyu**: ????????????????? uh, Tri…….What's going on? You've never said his name, or any name for that matter, before???? Why start now?

I waited for an answer, all the time staring at the screen like some obsessed person. But he didn't give me one.

Just as I wanted to type something I saw he had, finally, started typing a reply. Right, now to see what the hell was wrong here. (I've always been pretty good at assessing situations or reading people. It's actually quite easy to read people, you can see everything by the way the act, their eyes and by the way they talk. That's how I knew there was something wrong with Trishark, the way he talks right now is soooo not him.)

**Trishark**: Because I feel like starting now. And stop calling me Tri, my name is Kai. And just so you now, I'm not ever going to kill him, he's funny, caring, loving and very good-looking. And while we're at it, why don't I tell you a little more about me. I'm terrified of spiders and hate the fact I have a very weird never-heard-of disease which causes my immune system to falter every now and then making me ill very easily and I can get any disease over and over again. I'm also allergic to peanuts and garlic. And last but not least, I might be gay. I don't know for sure yet, but I do have certain beyond-friendship feelings for a friend of mine. What about you?

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W.H.A.T T.H.E H.E.L.L!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why the heck did he just tell me all _that_??!! He never tells me anything too personal, just to be safe, and now he just gives up his whole life story? What is going on with him?? First he says that he doesn't want to talk about Jack, which he _always_ wants to. And then he starts to chat away happily about his entire life??!

I read through the whole story again and felt even more uneasy. This wasn't Trishark. I didn't know who he was in person, but if anyone knows how Trishark writes, it's me. And whoever wrote that last part, wasn't Trishark. Soo, maybe it's not even true. Yeah, that's probably it, just his older brother trying to piss him off or something.

But than why doesn't he say something like; 'ignore that last part, just my brother' or 'Ooh man, seriously. I leave my room for like five minutes and this happens. Sorry C, just my bro messing with us'. That would be something Tri would say. But he doesn't. I look at the time and gasp. What! I'm so totally late for my dance lesson (street dance people, I'm just talking about street dance.)!!!! I quickly write a goodbye.

**Couyu**: Hé man, I'm already really late for my dance (street dance) lesson. So I have to go. But I'll see you tomorrow, and tell your brother to stop saying nonsense about you, or just hit him for me ;). BYYEEE!!

I look at the screen for a bit but get no response. Damn, where is Tri. I wait just a little longer and than log out. Sorry Tri, but I have to go. I hesitate for two seconds and than save the conversation on my laptop. I'll think about it another time, it's probably nothing anyway. And he's just some guy I met on the internet, so if something was up, it's not like I can help anyway.

I don't know him so I don't care………than, why is there this voice in the back of my head telling me I do and that I'm missing something important? Why??

_One week later. Rei hasn't seen or heard from Kai since their little 'run-in' and is getting worried/curious as to why not. Meanwhile, Kai's mum has full days of work and Kala is nearly always gone to visit friends or help his mum at work. Also, Tyson came back yesterday from his holiday and is exited about telling his friends about his grandfather._

**Tyson's POV**

YEAH! That was soooooooooooooo cool!! I so totally _love_ my grandpa (okay not love love, but just family love, got it, good), I know he's a little crazy and talks like he's a mix between a hip-hopper and a teenager with serious vocabulary problems but still, he's cool and still in good shape. Aaaaaaaand, he convinced my dad to give me more freedom, like, making a later curfew and not having to tell where I am every second of every day and so on, and so on. Which is GREAT! Now I have more time to spent with my friends and more time to beyblade, YES!!!!

I opened the front door while still eating my sandwich and looked up at the blue sky, littered with tiny white fluffy clouds. It was just after twelve and I was going over to Ray's and than drag him over to Kai so I can finally see them again after a week, I missed them but sure as hell am not going to tell them that. They'd laugh at me…hard!

I smiled, closed the door and took another bite out of my sandwich. It was only a five minute walk to Ray and I was feeling great. I wonder what happened here while I was gone? Oh well, if anything happened, I'm about to find out.

I finished my sandwich and got to Ray in no time. I rang the door bell and was surprised by the fact it almost immediately swung open.

"Hey!...Oh, hy Tyson."

Ray had looked euphoric when he had opened the door but his expression soon changed to disappointment when he saw it was me. But I thought he would've wanted to see me. I have been gone for a week.

"He Ray, aren't you happy to see me. I've been gone for nearly a week."

I noticed my voice had shown my disappointment about the fact he didn't look happy to see me, and silently cursed this fact under my breath. I didn't want them to think I was too clingy or something.

"No, Tyson. Of course I'm happy to see you. I…it's just…I thought you were someone else." Ray sounded a little worried, why?

"Is something wrong Ray. You look like you're worried about something. Who did you think I was?"

Ray sighed and grabbed his shoes. He than put them on, stepped outside and closed the door behind him. He started walking and I walked next to him, waiting for him to answer my question.

"It's…well……I just haven't seen Kai in a while and it's making me a little worried. I even went by his house yesterday but no one was home and he's also not answering his cell phone. I'm probably just over-reacting or something, never mind."

Ray was looking at the pavement with a sad smile on his face, trying to look happy but failing miserably. I knew Ray worried easily but there was something in his eyes that looked like he had a good reason to. But Kai? I know most people feel sorry for him or pity him or something but if you get to know him, you'll find out that that's the last thing you need to do. Kai can take care of himself perfectly well and hates it when you feel sorry for him, he just also has this certain aura of invincibility that follows him around. And only the ones close to him know that that isn't always true, Kai can become really ill, but he now knows how to not let that happen and if it does he knows how to deal with it. Of all off my friends Kai is actually the last one I would worry about, even though he is the one who's ill more often.

While I had been thinking I had, absentmindedly, followed Ray to Kai's house. And by the look on his face he hadn't been paying to much attention as to where we were going either.

Suddenly Ray's face lit up and he started to run to Kai's front door.

"Ray, wait up!"

He stopped and rang the bell impatiently, I caught up with him and still didn't understand his master-sprint of mere seconds ago.

"What are you doing, I thought you said no one was home. So why start running?"

He looked at me like I was the dumbest person ever (which I'm not, even Ray knows that) and sighed while smiling.

"There's a car in the driveway, it usually means someone's home." He said mockingly.

I was just about to give a witty reply when the door opened and we immediately turned both of heads into the direction of the person now standing in the doorway.

Huh??????

Who the _heck_ was this guy, and what was he doing in Kai's house??!!!!

"Are you Jack?"

I turned to Ray who had been the one to speak and than got even more confused when the guy in the doorway answered.

"Yes I am. You must be here to see Kai, am I right?"

Okay……WHAT was going _on_ here. I wanted answers and anyone with half a brain cell would rather tell me what I wanted to know than deal with me mad (this actually also went for Ray and Kai which is why only we three fight with one another).

"Alright, who _are_ you!?"

The guy blinked stupidly at my little outburst and smiled. Only making me more confused and therefore also succeeding in making me angrier.

I stood there glaring daggers at the guy who just continued to smile back. Just as I was about to reach my boiling point, Ray stepped in and prevented me from doing anything I might regret later.

"Come one Tyson, chill. This is Jack, the boyfriend of Kai's mum, and he's an okay dude. So just relax…okay?"

Okay, now I was not so much confused but just, well, stunned. Kai's mum had a _boyfriend_! Didn't his parents only separate like one-and-a-half year ago? How could Kai ever _approve_ to this, he had been a royal mess for weeks when his parents had split up ( even though he would rather burn his eyes out than to admit he had been), and now his mum suddenly has a new boyfriend. Even I'm having a hard time seeing anyone else with Kai's mum, or dad for that matter. How the heck does Kai cope with him around……but maybe Kai's not around, Ray did say he hadn't seen him in a while. But than were is he……with his dad?? Yeah, that could be possible. He did get on with his dad pretty well.

"Tyson!"

My head snapped up and I met with Ray's harsh and confused gaze. Right. I probably zoned out there for a while, I really should stop doing that in public. I've seen Ray and Kai do it sometimes, and it's pretty creepy.

"Sorry Ray, what's up?"

Ray just rolled his eyes while grabbing my hand and dragging me inside. The guy, Jack, smiled and stepped aside to let us through. As we walked by him I suddenly shuddered, I looked at Jack again and suddenly the air became a lot heavier. Something didn't feel right, something about this Jack fella just seemed of.

I thought about the weird feeling this Jack-guy was giving me for a few seconds and than shrugged it of. It's probably just uneasiness about the whole boyfriend thing, nothing to worry about. Besides, Ray said he was an okay dude and I trust Ray's judgement. Right?

Kai's voice saved me from more weird and stressful thoughts as he greeted us while we walked into the living room.

"Hey Ray, Tyson. What are you doing here?"

Again, something seemed of, about the way Kai talked and the hint of something strange in his eyes…but I didn't linger on that certain thought, I haven't seen Kai in a week, so I wasn't going to let weird non-truthful thoughts ruin the 'reunion' (that sounds so…_old_).

"Well I'm here to just see you again, I have been gone on holiday. And Ray's here because…well, he……uhm."

I looked over at Ray questioningly knowing better than to say 'because he was worried about you'. By saying something like that both Kai and Ray would be at my throat. So I decided to let Ray handle this by himself, and he did.

"And I'm here because I would like to know where you were these past few days. You just disappeared, without saying anything, for the entire **week**!"

I inwardly winced a little upon hearing that last part. It had been quite obvious Ray had been trying to control his voice but failed in the end and had sounded as if he was ready to hit something (or someone). And as I have said before, You do not want to see me, Kai or Ray when we're really mad, 'cause you'll most likely end up running away crying. But only when we're really, _really_ mad, and of course we get annoyed all the time, but getting us really, _really_ mad was pretty hard to do. And right now I was wondering just what exactly had happened when I had been gone?

**Ray's POV**

"Hey Ray, Tyson. What are you doing here?"

What are we doing……WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE!!! I'm here to see if you're even alive goddammnit!!!!!! You just completely vanished without a trace, didn't answer your phone, nobody was home and I was starting to wonder if you had moved or if your whole family had been kidnapped. I was so close to calling the police and than Tyson comes back, decides to visit me and I go for a walk with him only to end up at your place and having the urgent feeling to knock on your door. And, of course, when I do Jack opens the door and I find you here sitting in the living room pretending you _haven't_ just disappeared off of the face of the planet for the last **week**!!!!!!!

"And I'm here because I would like to know where you were these past few days. You just disappeared, without saying anything, for the entire **week**!"

I had been _trying_ to stay calm and be cool, but this was just to much. Kai disappeared leaving me worried sick about him and then, a week later, he's sitting in his living room pretending he hadn't just been gone for a week!!!!!!!! I WAS PISSED!!!!! And it is _really __**really**_ hard to get me thoroughly pissed, and yet somehow Kai had managed to do so, just by **leaving**!!

This thought suddenly made me confused and it made me wonder. Just how did Kai manage to get me mad just by leaving without telling. Why the hell was I so……so…_worried_ about him. Everybody with half a brain would know not to worry about Kai Hiwatari. So why did I?? Why did his 'little stunt' get to me so much…why?????

_Because, you ignorant fool, you have feelings for him. You, Ray Kon, has very love-like feelings for a certain fiery-crimson eyed Kai Hiwatari._

Oh great, I finally cracked. As if the situation at hand isn't confusing enough, I'm starting to hear voices…_voices_!!!! That's sooooo not good.

WHOOOO! Wait just a _minute_! Pause, rewind and play again. I have _feelings_ for KAI!!!????? Where the heck did that nonsense come from, how could my brain form such a ridiculous answer. I mentally laughed at myself, me, feelings for Kai…yeah right.

It was than I noticed that Tyson and Kai were staring at me, and that I had been laughing out loud because of my thoughts. I immediately stopped and looked down at my feet, knowing I must have looked down right crazy by just laughing while I had been angry mere seconds ago.

"Ray…………you've been without me for one week and you're already going insane, maybe you need to get a little bit more independent."

…………_What_ did he say. I need to get _more __**independent**_!!!!!!! Who the heck does he think he is. He disappears and when I ask him why he starts saying I need to be more independent!!!

That hurt, I don't really know why but that hurt. I thought he would just tell me he went out of town with his mum or something and than we'd all laugh about it. But this……this is not what I had expected. I had been worried sick and he starts insulting me, _with that tone_. The I-don't-give-a-damn-about-what-you-think-and-don't-think-I-ever-will tone, the one he also used on me just a week ago when he had ran into me.

Maybe……maybe he didn't care…about………me.

I looked Kai and noticed my vision had become a bit blurred. I blinked a few times and willed the tears away, I didn't want him to see me cry. I did notice some sort of remorse in his eyes but was too caught up in my own world to notice what was going on in his.

"Well, maybe you're right. And why don't I just start right now _Kai_. Why don't I just start by saying that I don't need you, that I don't want to need you and I never will!! Why don't I start by saying that you're a selfish asshole and that I hate you and that _**you're**_** not my friend anymore**!!!!!!"

The words were out of my mouth before I knew it and I immediately clapped my hands over it with wide eyes, already sorry for what I had said. HOW _could_ I have said _that_. I didn't mean to say that. I had just wanted to say that what he had said had hurt me but it came out all wrong.

'I hate you and you're not my friend anymore'. That wasn't true. I could never hate Kai and he'd always be my friend, always.

I lowered my hands and tried to make myself heard 'Kai I didn't mean that'. But all that came out was a sob. I noticed the tears sliding down my cheeks and immediately turned around not wanting anyone to see me cry. The fact that I was, actually, crying, scared myself even more, I had never really been the one for crying.

Suddenly a hand was placed on my shoulder and Tyson spoke.

"Ray, a-are you okay?"

His voice was shaky and full of disbelief. Not wanting to deal with anyone, not even Tyson, right now I shrugged the hand of and ran. Cars, people, houses and bikes passed me and I didn't notice a thing. I could have been hit by a bus for all I care, the only thing on my mind were those stupid, completely idiotic words; 'I hate you and you're not my friend anymore'. I was standing in front of my own house and fumbled around with the keys before opening the lock and running inside, slamming the door shut behind me.

Once in my room I flung myself onto my bed and started crying even harder, my still almost unhearable sobs echoing through my room and into my over-sensitive neko-jin ears.

'I hate you and you're not my friend anymore'

How could something you had said yourself hurt you so much?

_Because you never told him the truth. You love him and now he'll never love you back and you know it. You said the one thing you couldn't have meant less to the person you love and you didn't even say you didn't mean it, you just ran like the scared little boy you are. Face it Kon, you've just lost Kai, and it's all your own fault.._

'Shut up'

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Empie: Ooooooh! I'm gonna stop here and see what you think will happen next. And if your worrying about Ray getting into a depression thaaaaaaaaaaaan you can keep on worrying until next chapter 'cause I'm telling you zip!!!!!!

Ray: Now empie, that's not a nice thing to do to your readers. *turns to readers* I won't have a depression, maybe some self-hate scenes.

Empie: HEY!! *hufs* Great, now you spoiled _that_ surprise. But there are many more so just stay tuned (or something) and find out in the next chappie.

Kai: *has finally finished reading this chapter* WHAAAAAATT!!!!!!!! You didn't write _anything_ from my POV!!!! After everything you've put me through _and_ for everything you still _are _going to put me trough that is the least you can do!!!!!

Empie: *shows a very sudden interest in the ceiling while avoiding looking at Kai with all costs*

Kai: *is absolutely _fuming_ and keeps on cracking his knuckles*

Ray: *sweatdrops* Okaaay……what am I missing here??

Kai: Why don't you ask miss empire14 over there *points an accusing finger at empie while fighting the urge to jump her and break her neck*

Empie: *Looks waaaaaaaaaaaay to innocent* Whaaaat???

Ray: *sweatdrops…again* Do I even want to know.

Empie: No 'cause it's supposed to be a secret but somebody *looks at Kai* found out. Although h won't tell anyone because he knows that I am in control of this story and can do to him whatever I want (or at least almost anything, which is good enough for me).

Kai: *starts shaking but manages not to lunge*

Ray: *takes a hesitant step backwards while looking at empie and Kai*

Empie: *wonders how to get out of this little jam* Oh right, almost forgot. PLEEEEEAAAASEEEEEEEE review, they're my biggest love and my everything in life (sorta). So please R&R!!!


	5. Jack Was Right

empie: Hello!!!!!! Here I am again. I'm sorry for the wait. i just didn;t know how to go on. But I think this is a pretty cool next chappie (if I do say so myself) and I hope you'll all like it! Please R&R!!!!!

Kai: Hmph, mmmmmm, MMMMHMHMHMH!!!!!! *Pulls on his restraints and sends a death glare hot enough to melt the northpole empie's way*

empie: *gulps* Yeah...heh, heh. *whispers to readers* I kinda had to restrain him. He went on a murdering spree after reading this chappie.

Kai:**MMHMHMMMHM!!!!!!!**

empie: *looks even more uncomfortable* Okay, so maybe not a murdering spree, but you did go pretty nuts!!

Kai**!!!!!!!!!!!!**

empie: *looks at wrist which holds absolutely no watch whatsoever* Oh, look at the time. Gotta go *shouts at readers while running out the door* HOP YOU LIKE IT AND PLEASE DO R&R!!!

P.S. **Disclaimer**: *sigh* You'd think people would get it by now but noooooo. You have to say it over and over and over and over.....any way, No. I. Don.t. Own!!! Got it..........good.

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**Kai's POV**

"Well, maybe you're right. And why don't I just start right now _Kai_. Why don't I just start by saying that I don't need you, that I want to need you and I never will!! Why don't I start by saying that you're a selfish asshole and that I hate you and that _**you're**_** not my friend anymore**!!!!!!"

……………………………………………………………_Ray……………………………no._

What…why……_how_??!!!

No, Ray. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have done that. But don't say that, please, don't say that. I mean, you don't mean it right……right?

I can't…....I can't let you believe things like that. You don't believe that, you're my friend Ray. You'll always be my friend, even though I'm horrible at showing it…I care about you……I have feelings for you that are way more than friendship. I want to tell you that Ray, so don't go…you can't go…_I'm sorry_!!!!!

And there I go again, I want to tell you all that…but I can't, don't. All I can do is put a hand on your shoulder and wish you'd turn around. But you don't. You just stand there with your back turned to me and then, you run...you just run away. I vaguely remember Tyson saying something before you do, but that's not really that important, you are. I see only, now that you run away from me, that you always have been, I always wanted you to be impressed by something I did just a little bit more than the rest, I always wanted you to stay just a little bit longer, to say just a little bit more, to _feel_ just a little bit more...for me. Just like I feel more for you. I always wished for that to happen and sometimes I thought my prayers were answered, but now, I don't know anymore. If you don't even want to be my friend, how could you ever want to be something more.

I hear Tyson saying something but it's like were miles apart and I can't hear what he says, I try to but my mind won't let me listen, it's like I'm holding myself back, as always.

Than Tyson also runs out of the house, just like Ray did. It doesn't hurt as much as when Ray did it, but it still manages to do some serious damage to my already ripped up heart and hope. The hope that Jack had been wrong, the hope that I had friends who'd never leave me, hope I wasn't worthless, but, I... I think..I-I a-am...

I just stood there, arm still stretched forward as if reaching for something, or someone.

Then Jack spoke, he had said the words so many times now I could speak with him, but I didn't I just lowered my arm and bowed my head, letting the tears roll out of my eyes silently. Listening to Jack's voice gave me the chills and the urge to run away, but it also gave me a sense of defeat, for I knew he was right, and I was just to tired to try and fight him anymore. I did it this entire week and I had been wrong. My friends had walked out on me and I was alone, with him, no mum, no brother, no father and no Ray. Not even Tyson or Max.

The tears came even faster and it looked like two little rivers of pain were flowing down my cheeks. Suddenly I could feel Jack's hot breath on my ear but didn't move, I already knew the words by heart but listened, I deserved them I knew that now. I had hurt and chased away so many people, now it is my time to be punished for my actions, as Jack had told me so many times.

"No one wants you and no one needs you. You've hurt them all and pushed them away. You're just a worthless little nobody that doesn't belong anywhere. Not even your own family cares enough about you anymore to keep you company. They were happy to have an excuse to get away from you. And now I'll do what should have been done along time ago, I'll give you exactly what you deserve, my 'kiss' little 'kiss' phoenix."

I couldn't stop myself from shivering when his lips made contact with my face, but I didn't fight him, not this time. Everything made sense now, he had been right all this time, I was all alone and it was all my fault. All I had ever done was hurt people and therefore I deserved it, all of it.

He was still standing next to me, very close to me, whispering things to me, telling me it was wrong of me to hurt Ray and Tyson like that. And he was right. All this knowledge, however, didn't take away the fact that I was terrified of what I deserved, and therefore couldn't stop my body from shaking and the tears that were still making there way down my cheeks.

But I deserved al the fear, all the pain and all the humiliation. Jack had made that clear to me and the fact that my family had other things to do and my friends had just stormed out of my house only confirmed everything he said. I was filth; useful for nothing and could therefore be used for anything by anyone.

"You shouldn't hurt people Kai, you should make them happy. Now, why don't you go upstairs, to your room and when I come up you can start by making me happy, _very _happy this time. Okay."

I just nodded and started walking. Up the stairs, across the hallway and into my room. Once inside I stood and waited for Jack, still in some sort of trance with dull eyes looking at nothing but seeing everything.

Very soon my door opened and Jack walked in. He told me to take of my shirt and armguards, so I did it. With some effort I managed to get my shirt over my head in one fluid motion as my muscles still remembered all to well everything I had already been given by Jack.

Once my entire upper body was undressed I simply stood in front of, my back facing him, with my head down...waiting.

I didn't have to wait long. Red-hot pain seared through my body as a home-made whip made contact with my back. I gritted my teeth and fought back a scream as my back was left very painful and throbbing before the next blow came, and the next...and another one.

After six or seven I was on my hands and knees, trembling all over and making a tremendous effort to keep my arms from giving out and letting me fall. My body was tired and my mind was on the verge of a total melt down trying to deal with all the waves of pain. And my back was...well..._on fire!!!!_ It felt as if a knife had been dipped in oil, put on fire and had then been dragged in long lines across my back. I could even feel some sort of liquid running across my back.

I was panting as if I had just run ten laps around the house full speed and had my eyes screwed shut against the pain. I had long ago given up trying not to scream, something which Jack didn't like to much judging by his reaction.

He now had a handful of my hair and was gripping it so tight I was sure I was going to have some bold spaces tomorrow. He was pulling my entire body backwards and soon I was sitting on only my knees with my hands dangling next to my body while having my neck twisted backwards so I could look into Jack's eyes.

"Stop you're pitiful screaming right now. You've been a bother for long enough. Don't you think it's a bit selfish to scream so loud it's actually hurting my ears. That's not what I taught you Kai. You do not scream, shout, talk or even whisper when no one asks for it...**understood!** You will not ask questions, cry or even make your presence known except when asked for, **understood!!**"

Knowing he was asking a (sort of) question I swallowed thickly and answered in a rough and quiet voice.

"I-I understa-and."

His expression went from totally enraged to sickly pleased in less than a second.

"Good, than you'll also understand that you'll get what you deserve for screaming."

He threw me backwards making my head hit the floor extremely hard. My vision began swimming and turning but it didn't go black.

And not two seconds later kicks were ones again assaulting me from up front. I tried to defend or shield myself with my arms, but to no avail. I did, however, managed to keep my mouth shut, apart from the usual hiss or grunt not a sound left my lips that I wasn't aware of.

But suddenly things changed. I felt a weight press down on me and I was now lying on my back only worsening the state it was in. But that wasn't the real problem, the problems came when I finally managed to figure out what _exactly_ the weight was.

Jack.

He was now lying on top of me kissing my bruised and extremely painful chest, slowly working his way up until he eventually reached my mouth and, almost literally, threw himself on me. His kiss was demanding, harsh and fear striking all in one. It became even more gruesome as he forced my mouth open and his tongue behaved as a snake making a kill.

His hands were touching me all over and were slowly sliding downwards. My over tired and completely baffled brain had finally begun to understand what he was doing and I suddenly found myself very vulnerable and very scared. He stopped for a second to take a breath and then crushed his lips onto mine once again. I was now finally trying to do something but had almost no strength left to even lift my arm, let alone push him off me.

I started whimpering pathetically and my breaths became shorter and sharper every second. I really wasn't looking forward to a breakdown right now. My legs were moving ever so slightly and my hands were trying to stop his from going all the way down.

My eyes were beginning to water again when the thought of what could happen entered my head. My thrashing became a little bit more forceful bit I didn't stand a change again Jack, not in this state...and he knew it. I could feel him smirk as he, apparently, tried to choke me with his tongue.

His hands were now slowly opening my belt and unzipping my pants.

"You're a cute little phoenix you know that, _very _cute."

His voice was so full of lust I could literally feel the slime dripping of his tone. Oh wait, I could, he was now_ licking_ my cheek.

"P-please...don't, stop i-it......p-ple-ase, n-not thi-is."

I couldn't help it. The tears were now freely making there way down my cheeks and I was trembling I fear. This couldn't be happening, please no..._not again......._

'_Beep, beep, beep, beep...'_

"Oh fuck, that bitch's back"

He was still lying on top of me but he had stopped with...trying to do _that_.

"I'm so sorry my little phoenix, but we'll have to do this some other time. For now I want you to lock your door once I'm out of the room and don't let anyone in besides me, **understood**."

.

.

.

"**Understood!!!**"

I whimpered in fear but quickly answered, knowing Jack didn't like to wait.

"I...underst-and"

"Good. Sweet dreams little phoenix."

And with one last kiss he got up and walked out of the room.

As soon as I could no longer hear his footsteps I dragged my self to the door and turned the key, locking it from the inside. Feeling a little bit safer I than dragged myself back to the bed and managed to get at least half of my body onto it before I broke down and cried. My breaths became harsher and my vision began to swam. I felt hot and cold all over and was trembling profusely. I just hoped i wouldn't start to hyperventilate and that some sleep could stop the break down from getting to serious.

Since there was no Kala or mum to help me this time I tried to calm myself but failed miserably. Finally I cried myself to sleep and hoped I'd still wake up in the morning, although I found a little part of me hoping that maybe...just maybe...I wouldn't wake up.

Ever, again.

* * *

Soooooo???? What did you think??? Love it, hate it, something in between, advice of any sort is welcome!!!! And the first three reviewers will get a special thank you!!!! (Want to know what a special thank you is...check out one of my other fics 'playing russian roulette' ;), or just leave a review and find out!!!)


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